Wedding Culture is out of Control! Capitalism has Hijacked Love!

Once upon a time, weddings were simple. You threw on your nicest frock, brought a fruit pie to the barn, sat on a log, and danced to the local fiddle until the sun went down. The bride wore white. The groom looked vaguely clean. It was about love, not logistics. About commitment, not couture. Fast-forward to 2025, and weddings have spiraled into something unrecognizable — a high-pressure, high-budget, highly commercialized industry that has many couples asking: Is this still about us?

The short answer? No. Not really.

When Did a Five-Hour Party Turn Into a Lifetime of Debt?

Inspired by a recent YouTube video that broke down the wedding industrial complex with precision and passion, I couldn’t help but reflect on how capitalism has managed to take one of the most personal days in someone’s life and turn it into a $30,000+ performance — complete with flower arches, drone videography, and $1,800 light rentals.

Let’s talk numbers.

According to The Knot’s 2024 Real Weddings Study:

• The average wedding in the U.S. now costs $35,000.

• In cities like NYC or San Francisco? That figure jumps to over $60,000.

• The average cost of a wedding dress is $2,000, but many dresses easily run between $3,000 to $10,000 depending on the designer and alterations.

• Want flowers? In 1995, your bouquet and décor may have cost $500. In 2023, it’s closer to $3,500 — my mom confirmed this from personal experience. She got married in September 1995 and said her flowers really were just $500. Now? That’s the cost of petals per guest table.

• Renting a black and white dance floor for five hours? $2,400.

• Renting special lights? $3,900.

• Photographer and videographer duo? Expect to shell out $3,000+, and that’s often considered a deal.

• Don’t forget: venue, DJ, food, dress, hair, makeup, favors, signage, invitations, welcome bags, bachelorette party, bridal shower, engagement shoot… you get it.

Real People, Real Regrets

Here’s what’s even more alarming: Not only are people spending an absurd amount of money — they’re regretting it. A recent Knot wedding regrets survey showed the following:

Top 5 Wedding Regrets:

• 42% said they wished they spent less overall

• 35% regretted having too many guests

• 28% said they would’ve eloped if they could do it again

• 23% said they felt pressured into making choices to please family

• 17% regretted spending too much on decor or flowers

People are literally taking out loans to fund their weddings. Personal loans ranging from $20,000 to $40,000 — just to cover a day. And then what? You start your marriage not with a honeymoon, but with a mountain of debt and the added stress that comes with it. Is that really the fairytale beginning anyone hopes for?

A Culture of Performance, Not Presence

Let’s be honest: a lot of weddings today aren’t about the couple anymore. They're about Instagram stories. They're about impressing your future mother-in-law. They're about performing love rather than experiencing it.

And don’t get me wrong — if you have the means, and if you genuinely want the big show, go for it. But a lot of us don’t. A lot of us have to work jobs that barely cover rent, let alone a five-tier cake and gold-leaf seating charts. A lot of us don’t have parents who saved up for our wedding since birth. And that’s okay.

We shouldn’t feel ashamed of opting for a backyard ceremony, a $300 thrifted dress, or eloping to a national park. In fact, since the pandemic, backyard weddings, travel weddings, and elopements are on the rise — not only because they’re more affordable, but because they strip away the unnecessary fluff and get back to what matters: two people choosing each other.

Weddings Should Be About the Couple — Not the Cost

What really struck me about the YouTube video was how many people shared similar regrets — not just about money, but about priorities. People talked about how they barely had time to eat. How they spent more time thanking guests than enjoying their own day. How they wish they’d invited fewer people or just booked a small Airbnb somewhere with their closest friends.

And maybe that’s the core of it: intimacy has been replaced with industry. We’ve traded in real connection for curated content.

So What’s the Alternative?

If you’re planning a wedding, I urge you to ask:

• What do you want the day to feel like?

• Who actually needs to be there?

• What do you want to remember: the linen color or the vows?

• Would you rather start your marriage with a memory or a loan?

Because the truth is, love doesn’t need a flower arch. It needs intention. And trust. And space to grow.

And a lot less glitter.

With Love,
Postcardsbykayla